“Television interview?” the 40-something aesthetician squealed. She rested a hand on my shoulder, her southern accent chummy. “That’s what yer in for?”
“Yes,” I told her, my face sheet-white.
“A television interview!” she actually squealed again. “So exciting!”
Not excited about the television interview
I didn’t feel excited about the television interview. I felt like someone had exteriorized my stomach and was poking sharp needles in it. My brain felt completely blank.
I realized, dread washing over me, that I had no idea what questions I would be asked during the television interview, I couldn’t remember any talking points, and, stupidly, I hadn’t taken the time to practice.
Heather patted foundation onto my face.
It was bright orange.
I have green eyes and a high forehead. I looked like an Oompa-Loompa.
“We’ll lighten that up, don’t you worry,” she drawled when she saw me startle as I looked in the mirror.
Half an hour and $33 later, I was driving to KOBI TV Channel 5 in Medford for the television interview.
The dreary gray sky matched my mood.
Why had I agreed to do this?
(A more honest question would have been, “Why had I actively sought out this publicity opportunity?” but this wasn’t my most honest hour.)
Why hadn’t I taken a media training workshop to learn how to ace a television interview? What did I have to say that anyone would care about on TV?
I arrived to the television interview a hundred hours early
I was about a hundred hours early.
So I sat in my car and fretted.
I called my friend Christine Gross-Loh. She has a book coming out two weeks after mine.
The stress has been giving her headaches.
Like me, she’s as terrified of her book getting attention as she is of her book being completely ignored.
“Prepare for the calm before the calm,” is my colleague Virginia Morell‘s favorite advice about pre-publication jitters. Every writer expects, hopes for, and is petrified about a publicity storm. But for most writers, with so many books being published every day, all we get is … silence.
“I look like a cheap whore,” I told Christine. “The lady put way too much makeup on my face.”
“You’ll be great,” she soothed.
“The stakes aren’t that high. It’s a local television interview. It’s good practice.” I was convincing myself as much as Christine. I hung up the phone, grabbed my bag with trembling hands, and headed into the studio.
Don’t look into the camera during the television interview, the anchorman said
“Don’t look into the camera,” the anchorman, who also had orange foundation plastered to his face (maybe my makeup lady knew what she was doing after all?), advised.
“Just talk to me. We’ll have cameras on you. Okay, five seconds to rolling … three, two, one!”
The anchorman surprised me by giving me a big smile and asking, “How are you?”
“I’m GREAT,” I practically shouted, gripping his hand firmly and shaking it way too hard. I’m surprised I didn’t pull his arm out of its socket.
I figured, “I’m so nervous I might vomit on your shoes,” wouldn’t be such a good television debut…
Wondering how I did on local TV?
The “Five on 5” interview airs on April 16, which is when my book, The Business of Baby, comes out.
In the meantime, you can watch this 3-minute clip from last year. Here I am, extolling the virtues of broccoli.
Related posts:
How to Prepare for a Television Interview
Author Support: 7 Ways to Help
Book Publicity 2.0
Published: February 11, 2013
Updated: January 22, 2024
I’m sure you will be terrific in the interview. It’s crazy how important book promotion has become. Writers are usually good at writing. Promotion takes different skills and used to be a different profession entirely.
What a great post! Many of us have experienced this combination of stage fright and orange makeup — or some variation.
In my case, the producer (there was no make-up professional) decided she wanted me to have full lips.
“But I have thin lips,” I reminded her.
“We’ll make them full,” she told me, drawing the lips she wanted on my face and filling them in with lipstick.
I don’t know how it would have looked on TV, because the segment was cancelled — after a cross-country trip and a full morning of filming. Some higher up decided “senior sex” wasn’t what they wanted on the show after all. Arghh.
That’s hilarious, Joan. And so disappointing that they cancelled the segment. I want to know what the full lips looked like on screen!
The interview will be great, I’m sure! Your hair looks great – you changed it since I saw you!
Thanks Brette. I got a shorter haircut, which makes my hair super curly. And it was raining that day, so it was even curlier…
Rock star are you. Your new hair is darling. I’m sure you did great, and congrats on not opening with the vomit line.
Good for you. I’m trying to figure out how to promote my walkin gPortland book which comes out next month. I hadn’t thought of tv interviews… I’m not sure that would promote the book or kill it outright…Billy
Love your new hair look. More important than that, I’m totally confident you know your stuff and you were a star.
I’m sure it will be awesome. Even when we think we sound dopey and unprepared and nervous, people who don’t know us or our topic are usually wowed with our brilliance, even if it’s faked. 😉 Can’t wait to see it.
Knowing you, it will be fun and informative. You’ve been interviewed on TV several times before, so you’re ahead of the game.
Such a cliff hanger!! Although, I have zero doubt that this story won’t end any way but amazingly. I love the oompa loompa image. Of course, you look totally beautiful.
I can’t wait to see the interview. You’ll be great because you KNOW your subject. Great haircut too.
I know how you feel. At least they aren’t coming to your house, but then reschedule for the next week a day before they were do. That is what happened to me with my first TV interview.
I’m sure you did great. Just remember you’re smarter than almost anyone who is going to interview you.
; )
I think the makeup artist did an amazing job. You look great and I can’t wait to see the Real McCoy!
You’ll be great. I’m so looking forward to the book (and feel like I have been for ages).
Also, enjoyed the food dye piece. We figured out a few months ago that our younger daughter has a food dye allergy/intolerance. We didn’t notice behavior issues, although we weren’t looking, but rather a rash around her mouth and cheeks. It would happen so infrequently that it took us a long time to narrow it down. Once we figured it out, we realized that those dyes were in her toothpaste and medicines too. Yuck.
I always feel like that, too, when I have a lot of makeup on. But the alternative is looking like a washed out ghost or anemic albino. It feels like a ton of makeup and looks like it in person, but on TV under the lights it looks normal. You looked great!
So exciting – and I bet it will be the first of many for you … with your forthcoming book!
You look adorable! I’ve not done TV, but my hairstylist did my makeup for a professional headshot, and it just seemed like so much, but ended up looking fine in the photo. I guess she was right.
Oh I’d need some major meds to get through a TV interview. Or wine. Or something.