How can a 23-month-old who is this cute cause so much trouble?
Before my father-in-law came to town a few weeks ago I called him and his wife to tell them I was slammed with deadlines and that James also had a big project due. I explained rather sheepishly that we were hoping to take advantage of their visit to keep working while they spent time with the kids.
“The baby’s really easy going,” I told his wife Carol. “She has a sweet disposition and a nice personality. She won’t give you any trouble. You’ll see when you get here.”
I didn’t think I was lying. I’m so used to this baby being sweet that I thought I was telling them the truth.
But I wasn’t.
The truth is the baby is exasperating everyone in the family.
A 23-month-old now, she’s become fickle and willful and easily frustrated.
Traits of a 23-month-old toddler
She wants to do everything her way, and she wants to do it that way right now. She also has strange ideas about how the world should work. One of her notions, now that she’s a 23-month-old, is that my hand should not be attached to my body.
“No hand! No hand!” My 23-month-old shrieks at me. How can I get rid of my hand? Where should it go?
She has also become obsessed with shoes.
“Shoes on! Shoes on! NOT dat one! NO socks.”
She insists on wearing one sandal and one sneaker, walks out the door, takes two steps, sits down on her tush and starts yanking off her shoes.
Her other trick is intuiting the one object you need the most, and grabbing it from you. Our passports when we were traveling, for example. My credit card at the checkout at the grocery store. My cell phone when I’m stupidly taking a work call while on kid duty.
She pockets her brother’s Legos, squeezes a tube of her sister’s lip gloss all over her face, hands, and the couch, and she falls in a boneless heap because I closed the bathroom door when she wanted to shut it (“Me do it. ME DO IT! Waaahhh.”).
I wrote a book about toddlers and I’m still at my wits’ end with my 23-month-old
I edited, introduced, and wrote two stories in a book about toddlers. I should know how to deal with my 23-month-old in all her fickle glory. I should be patient. But instead I’m at my wits’ end.
My father-in-law Jim and his wife Carol came back from spending their first day with the kids and flopped down on the couch. They both looked utterly exhausted.
“That easy baby you were telling me about, Jennifer?” Carol said, a smile in her voice. “I think she’s gone.”
I’m counting on this being a short disappearance.
My easy-going girl will be back soon. Won’t she?
Published: November 1, 2011
Updated: January 12, 2020
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Toddler: Real-Life Stories of Those Fickle, Irrational, Urgent, Tiny People We Love
When Hurry Becomes a Habit: Time to Stop Rushing Our Kids
Parenting a whole person who is only two feet tall but has already developed a worldview is always fascinating but not always easy. My 23-month-old is a good case in point | Jennifer Margulis, Ph.D.
Sure she will. Right after that easygoing baby boy gets over his terrible twos. He turned 8 last week.
My 20-year-old is STILL incredibly fussy. How long can I blame colic??
:0)
I have no idea. That’s why I’m a dog mom.
Maybe we should get a dog, Roxanne? A puppy might give Leone a run for her money!
Sometimes I miss having toddlers/preschoolers but your words just reminded me how HARD that stage was. I think I’ll stick to my teenagers!
Jennifer,
She is just right for her age….”The Terrific Twos”(book title)
is agood one to read if you want to read something. However, all the clues are given to you by her. She needs to do all things posible by herself. Sit back and enjoy. She has so much to imitate from her older syblins and she is a fast learner.
Have fun (if not call me) 😉
Ana
Thanks for the reminder that Leone’s behavior is normal, Ana. I think I’ll be calling you soon.
I’m right there with you, Jennifer! This post gives me comic relief when I’m losing it with my little guy. 🙂 And I try to remember it when those older moms look at his sweet self and say, “Enjoy every single moment!!!” Yes, we will just remember the lovely moments, right?!
http://jasongood.net/365/2011/08/day-215-approximately-3-minutes-inside-the-head-of-my-2-year-old/
I hope to meet Leone some day. Sounds like she has quite a personality!
That sweet easy baby might be back, but when my daughter pulled this stuff it was always really good to remember how parenting a strong-willed, independent child can be tough, but that strong-willed, independent kids do very well out there in the big wide world!
The terrible twos have struck! I remember how rough it was, but I also loved so many things about this age. I loved watching language development and this is the age when they start to put things together in so many ways. I think the thing about “no hand!” is hysterical, but she’s telling you she doesn’t want you to use that hand to control her I think! That’s how you pick her up or take things away and she’s identifying the hand as the problem, not you, which is really, really interesting.
She sounds just right for her age. Kyra will be three in less than a month and just now started a different phase. It’s funny that she did that exact same hand thing and “meeeeee do it!” as well. Hmm what does this tell us?
She’s an angel and I adore her. Maybe you should send her to PDX for a visit?
I remember those days with my younger brother. He and a friend of the same age caused a babysitter to quit. But he grew out of it, and so will Leone. Better is to come, and so is worse. Kids moods can be like the weather. Pouring rain, with patches of sunlight in between the showers. Occasionally there are days with only brightly shining sun, and those are the best of days.
You had time to write this?
Your doing better than me with my 24 month old. LOL!