{"id":1128,"date":"2012-01-24T10:48:53","date_gmt":"2012-01-24T17:48:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nebulous-oyster.flywheelsites.com\/blog\/?p=1128"},"modified":"2021-06-08T22:07:14","modified_gmt":"2021-06-09T05:07:14","slug":"great-bathtub-disaster","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennifermargulis.net\/great-bathtub-disaster\/","title":{"rendered":"The Great Bathtub Disaster"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"The

This baby looks like he’s chillin’, but what’s going on in his diaper? May you never have a bathtub disaster in your parenting career.<\/p><\/div>\n

“Mommy get up! I wan’ Mommy get up!”<\/p>\n

It was only 5:00 a.m. and my two-year-old<\/a> was patting my face with her open palm.<\/p>\n

I tried to negotiate for five more minutes.<\/p>\n

She wasn’t having it.<\/p>\n

Leone<\/a> yelled so loudly that she almost roused James, who can sleep through a dynamite explosion next to his head if it’s first thing in the morning.<\/p>\n

I stumbled upright, cursing myself for staying up late playing hearts with friends and reading the second book of the\u00a0Hunger Games<\/a>\u00a0series.<\/p>\n

The heat doesn’t go on until 7 a.m. and it’s COLD in our house.\u00a0So I suggested a bath.\u00a0The warm water was almost as cozy as the bed.<\/p>\n

I slid down until I was lying on my side, with even my face partially submerged, my toddler<\/a> happily playing by my side.<\/p>\n

That’s when it happened.<\/p>\n

The great bathtub disaster<\/h3>\n

Leone was as shocked as I was.<\/p>\n

We looked at the brown gunk that was now floating around the bathtub and neither of us, at first, was sure what it was.<\/p>\n

Leone started doing poop in the potty<\/a> at seven weeks and hasn’t pooped her pants since she was about 11 months old. She hasn’t EVER pooped in the tub or had any kind of bathtub disaster.<\/p>\n

In twelve years of parenting this is the first time I’ve had to deal with fecal matter in the bath water.<\/p>\n

I hustled us both out of the water, my brain buzzing with questions: How to clean a mostly diarrhea poop out of the tub?\u00a0How to keep the more solid pieces from going down the drain? How is this bathtub disaster happening so early in the a.m.?<\/p>\n

In the 19th century classic, The American Frugal Housewife<\/em><\/a>, Lydia Maria Child suggests spicy peppers in the morning to liven a phlegmatic disposition.<\/p>\n

I’ve got a better Wake Up Fast Method: lie in the tub with your mouth partially in the water when your 24-month-old daughter thinks she needs to fart.<\/p>\n

Has a bathtub disaster ever happened to you? Is this the most disgusting thing you’ve ever read? Will I get an e-coli infection? Will you send chocolate (as long as it’s not in packaging<\/a>)?!<\/strong><\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Mommy get up! I wan’ Mommy get up!” It was only 5:00 a.m. and my two-year-old was patting my face with her open palm. I tried to negotiate for five more minutes. She wasn’t having it. Leone yelled so loudly that she almost roused James, who can sleep through a dynamite explosion next to his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":9007,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":""},"categories":[5269,8275],"tags":[9797,9796,5715],"yoast_head":"\nBathtub Disaster: When a Toddler Thinks She Needs to Fart But Poops<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I've got a better Wake Up Fast Method: a bathtub disaster. 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