How do you stay safe in an emergency? I’ve been obsessing about the devastating shooting at the movie theater in Aurora, Colorado. I can’t imagine what it was like for the people who went to see Batman to suddenly be surrounded by gunfire on July 20, 2012.
News reports say the shooter, James Holmes, is 24 years old and comes from a well-to-do family. Friends and neighbors described him as “shy” and “intelligent.”
He was accepted into a graduate program to study neuroscience at the University of Colorado but was in the process of withdrawing, reports say.
“He was crazy,” my husband insists. Is there any other possible explanation? To hurt that many people for no reason—to plan and commit such a senseless act of violence—must be a result of mental disturbances.
How does a young man with a promising future become a ruthless killer? What’s happening to humans that we are perpetuating violence, like the bombings/shootings in Norway and now this? Does any other species commit mass murder?
I feel so sad for the victims. And for the survivors, the ones who managed to stay safe in an emergency, who will be haunted by what happened for a long, long time.
Which brings me to my real obsession: How did some of the people in that crowded movie theater manage to survive while others were murdered?
How do you stay safe in an emergency and keep your wits about you?
Frugal Kiwi, who lives in New Zealand, tackles this question in an amazing post she wrote on preparing for emergencies.
“There are any number of events that can turn your life into a fight for survival,” Frugal Kiwi writes. “You’ve got a better chance of winning that fight if you are prepared.”
But how do you expect the unexpected? What do you do?
If you surf the Internet, you’ll find a lot of advice to stay safe in an emergency. Smart tips:
*Cover your nose and mouth so you aren’t breathing in gas.
*Drop below smoke if there’s an explosion.
*Move away from the windows, as they might explode in a bomb raid.
*If the threat is outside, get inside. If the threat is inside, get outside.
This all sounds so sensible. But when a 24-year-old opens fire in a crowded movie theater nothing makes any sense.
My friend’s grandma was working in a kitchen in Poland during the Holocaust with several other Jewish women. One day the Nazis came and lined the women up outside. They started firing at one end of the line. My friend’s grandmother, who had a baby in her arms, was at the other end. She clutched her daughter to her, whispered the “Sh’ma” (a Jewish prayer of unity that I have loved ever since Lisa told me this story: “Sh’ma Yis’ra’eil Adonai Eloheinu Adonai echad”), and ran as fast as she could into the adjacent woods where she hid until the killings were over. Later she stepped over the bodies of her slain co-workers. She managed not only to survive that attack but to find a way to keep her daughter safe during the war and to find her again after the war ended.
Lisa’s grandmother, by sheer luck of the draw, was last in the firing line. Sometimes there is nothing you can do and you cannot avoid being killed. But what I learn from that story, and from reading about the heros who helped others and managed not to die in the Aurora Colorado shooting, is that you have a better chance of surviving if you:
1) Don’t panic: One young woman who died started screaming after she’d been shot in the leg. She was in a state of absolute terror. Her panic drew the gunman’s attention to her and he shot her in the head.
2) Act: This may mean you curl into a ball underneath the movie theater seat or you clutch your baby and run. But you try something, even if it’s just ducking behind a tree to take five seconds to take stock of the situation. If it doesn’t work, don’t keep doing it. Try something else.
3) Remember it’s hard to hit a moving target: We tend to freeze in the face of danger, which is not necessarily a bad reaction but it does give a potential killer an easy shot. It’s very hard to hit a moving target, even when you are an excellent marksman. If someone has a gun on you and you know they plan to shoot it, don’t stand there. Run. If the situation is really dire, you may have an even better chance if you do the unexpected and run towards the killer, startling him just long enough for you to get away.
4) Pay attention to your intuition: Former FBI profiler Mary Ellen O’Toole, in her book, Dangerous Instincts, says that people try to normalize abnormal situations, which is why a serial killer can bury bodies in his backyard for years without the neighbors noticing. If you see something strange or out of the ordinary and it makes you nervous–whether it be a door to a movie theater being propped up or just a weird feeling in the air (this happened to me once. I ducked into an apartment building and called my boyfriend. For some strange reason I was terrified to walk home. He came to get me. That same night there was an armed robbery in the ground floor apartment of where I got the jitters)–don’t ignore it. Go for help, report your suspicions to the police, call 911. Maybe it’s nothing. But it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
5) Talk to your kids about how to get out of dangerous situations so they will feel empowered without being scared. Role play scenarios. Teach them not to run away from danger but to run towards safety.
6) Tell yourself whatever you need to hear to keep your courage up: God or Gaia or the universe or whatever you believe in will be beside you. With that support at your side, it’s up to you to do what you can.
We have a new tradition in our family. We hold hands and have a moment of silence before dinner every night. We will be keeping the victims and the survivors of the Colorado shootings in our thoughts.
Have you ever been the victim of an attack or a robbery? Do you have any tips to share about how you stayed safe?
Published: July 26, 2012
Updated: January 12, 2020
Cecile says
I find it even more disturbing that, here in America (but nowhere else in Western nations) we should be thinking about ways to protect ourselves from mass shooting : this is the world upside down (even if, as a mother of one, I too started to think of what I would have done in that movie theater). The real question is what is it in our national culture that allows these incidents to happen, not once, and for clear political reasons as in Norway, but repeatedly and for no motive other than what can only be described as the appeal of violence. That, do me, is the real question.
Alexandra says
I’m moved that you decided to tackle this difficult topic and appreciate your suggestions for survival in a similar situation. Senseless killing has always mystified me. I think the violence, shown non-stop on television, has something to do with the outbursts of inexplicable violence in our society. That violence is now also in video games, which are apparently very popular.
I agree with you about listening to one’s intuition. If something feels not quite right, pay attention.
Sometimes luck plays its part, as you mention your friend’s grandmother being at the end of the firing line. My father survived the Russian Revolution by chance. His family had claimed seats on a ship in Riga, to escape Russia in 1918, but the captain made everyone get off for the night. My dad, his brother and their parents went to a friend’s apartment. During dinner, my dad happened to step outside onto the balcony. Spotlights were lighting up the sky. He realized they were from the ship, that the captain had changed his plan and was trying to call his passengers back. My dad’s family rushed back on board. Many of the people with tickets for that last ship did not see the spotlights and were killed when the Red Army marched into town the following morning.
There’s a film by that really makes senseless violence clear. Called The Chekist (http://www.fright.com/edge/chekist.html), it is about a member of the CHEKA, the KGB of revolutionary times in Russia, and how he kills line after line of innocent people dispassionately. He eventually goes mad from all the killing.
Jennifer Margulis says
I am so glad your dad stepped outside. That random action was what saved his family. Amazing.
merr says
During this horrific tragedy, we all seem to be looking for answers, to understand the whys … it is comforting to read about things we can focus on that might help protect and preserve us. Thanks for that.
alisab says
I’m in Colo now, so I’m seeing 24 hour in-depth coverage, mostly of the victims. After something like this, it’s our nature to think, “How can humans be so savage?” Yet there were some true heroes and heroines in that theatre that night. There were more heroes and heroines–people who risked their lives to save others or even just comfort them as they died–than there were savages in that theatre. The ratio is probably greater than 20 to 1. Focusing on the savage generates despair. Focusing on goodness helps us find the strength to live and love. Great tips here. Thanks for linking to the Dangerous Instincts book. I think it will indeed come out that this shooter is not mentally ill at all. He planned this meticulously. People who are seeing things and hearing voices can’t plan details that easily. They also have a hard time blending in. This guy might be a psychopath or filled with anger, but he’s definitely got his wits about him.
Jennifer Margulis says
That is such an interesting perspective, Alisa, that he may not be mentally ill. But if he is a psychopath isn’t that a form of mental illness? I am disturbed by how much he had things planned out. If he was motivated by anger, I can only think something devastatingly terrible happened to him in his earlier life. Maybe I am trying to rationalize something that just isn’t rational?
I learned so much about being safe from your and former FBI agent Mary O’Toole’s book. I highly recommend it. I would be very interested to know what she thinks about this murderer’s profile.
Melanie says
To me there is no question whether or not he is mentally ill. People who are NOT mentally ill don’t gun down people in theatres. It is irrelevant to me that he was both mentally ill and had planning skills, as being mentally ill is not the same thing as “temporary insanity”.
Great piece, Jennifer.
Kerry Dexter says
Sad that there is need for the tips you offer, Jennifer, but good that you offer such a reasoned and practical approach to a tough situation. I agree with alisab in her comment above, as she suggests focusing on the good rather than the evil. your suggestions will, I think, offer a space of calm and a way for people to open up to that sort of thinking.
Ginny Auer says
I appreciate your tips too. I would be very interested to hear more about how you are discussing this issue with your kids. Are you sharing these stories and tips with them? I suspect given their different ages they respond and “get it” at different levels. How did they find out about it? From you? TV? Newspaper? A friend? Did you bring up the topic with them? or did they bring it up with you? I am also really interested in ways that we discuss scary issues with young children so that they remain safe, but don’t become phobic about going out into the world.
Jennifer Margulis says
Gina – my oldest just turned 13. She heard about it from her friends, who saw it on TV (we don’t have a TV but that doesn’t seem to keep any information at bay…). My 11 year old and 8 year old were walking through the airport when it was on the news screen so they heard about it that way. My two year old has no idea (of course) but the three older ones seem to always hear about everything, usually from their peers, sometimes from the radio, and very rarely from the Internet. We actually try to protect them from a lot of what it is the news but when something like this happens and they are hearing about it from so many places we take time to talk about it at the dinner table. When the oldest were very little I started role playing with them (fun not scary situations), we also took them to Power Girls in Massachusetts (I wish they had that here), and we’ve read books for years at their age level. This kind of incident is so rare and unusual. It’s more important to teach children that no one has the right to touch their bodies in a way that feels weird or bad, and that if a grownup–no matter who it is–ever says, “Don’t tell your mom,” or “I’ll kill you if you tell anyone,” that that means you should come to a safe adult right away and tell them everything…
Donna Hull says
I think the only way to get through situations like this is to look for the positive, as you have done with suggestions on how to be prepared for the unthinkable. Rather than focus on the shooter (I don’t care if he is mentally ill, a psychopath, whatever), I’d rather hear about the heroism and good deeds that happened that day. After all, if we focus on the shooter, aren’t we giving him what he wants? Attention and noteriety.
Roxanne says
I’ve lived in Colorado almost my entire life. It’s embarrassing to have multiple mass murders like this in our state’s history. Honestly, I’m sick to death of seeing the shooter’s face in the media. I trust the justice system will do it’s work. I care most about all the families who were affected. I care about the first-responders and medical people who were also traumatized and whose lives will never be the same.
Several of my young cousins went to the midnight show … thankfully at another theater in Aurora.
That said, we did have a conversation here at our house about how we would respond. Would we split up? Would we stick together, etc? It’s sad that such conversations are necessary.
susan selfridge says
I agree with your husband. Crazy.
I have a theory that all these types, the Columbine guy, the Virginia Tech guy, the Aurora Theater guy, Gabby Gifford guy, locally; a doctor who recently murdered his girlfriend in the hospital etc., etc., all have something in common. All were seeking or under psychiatric care and on and off those over-prescribed psyche-altering drugs, like Prozac. Even O.J. Simpson was on a megadose of it when he killed his wife. They warn of suicidal side effects. Why, then, not possible homocidal effects.
read Listening to prozac and przac nation and both indicated a concern about the moral implications of a change in society’s common psyche.
Also, the media coverage contributes to the likelihood of copy cat crimes. I think survival in that case was luck of the drawn-on. Randomness, proximity to the line of fire and good reaction. ie. one girl thought the shots were part of the special effects while her recently back-from-Iraq boyfirend knew not and shoved her under the chair to save her and not himself.