I am heading to the East Coast tomorrow to take care of affairs related to my mom’s estate. I’ve been grieving her unexpected death. It’s been devastating.
If you’re just visiting for the first time, my mom died in November. You can read more about that here and here.
Friends who have lost loves ones tell me that it gets better with time.
I wish I could say that has been true for me. So far it hasn’t.
My mother died of a massive brain hemorrhage almost seven months ago but it feels like it was just yesterday that my brother was telling James the call was urgent and to put me on the phone. The moment I heard my brother’s voice was the moment my entire life shifted.
Today my 11-year-old graduated from elementary school. She walked through the canopy of white and blue balloons with a wide smile on her face and I started sobbing, though you couldn’t see the tears on the outside.
I was missing my mom, grieving her death, wishing I could call her to tell her how beautiful and confident Athena looked, and remembering when she came to my elementary school graduation.
I’m not bringing my computer and I won’t be updating this blog. The book I’m writing is coming out in April 2013. The revisions are due in July.
After I take care of estate business, we are traveling to visit my husband’s 93-year-old grandmother and the rest of the family. I have no idea what kind of Internet access we’ll have on the road.
I hope my regular readers will forgive me if I’m not back in full force for awhile.
If you feel like hanging around and you’re feeling click-ish, here are 7 articles I’ve written on a wide variety of topics:
1. Why you should bring your camera with you to the hospital when you’re having a baby
2. This common procedure done to animals is considered abusive in other countries
4. The cheapest, cleanest place to stay in midtown Manhattan
5. Why praising your children is not good for their self-esteem
6. How to make Norwegian flat bread
If you still feel like clicking around, here are some articles I find myself reading and re-reading on-line:
1. The dangers of elective induction
3. Frugal Kiwi’s make your own laundry detergent
4. The books on Alexandra Grabbe’s book shelf (Chez Sven)
5. A study showing that compassion meditation changes the brain
6. Anywhere the eye can see, there’s an ad
If you need to reach me, click here.
Grieving is hard. I hope you’re not grieving. Wishing everyone in the cybersphere a happy June.
Published: June 13, 2012
Updated: January 18, 2020
Heather Shumaker says
Jennifer,
Sorry for the loss of your mother. I wish you good courage as you travel east for this difficult task.
Alison Krupnick says
Jennifer,
I lost my mother two-and-a-half years ago and also had a daughter graduate from elementary school this month.
My brother gave me a Kaddish band to wear for the first year of our mother’s death (think Lance Armstrong band in black), even though both of us had challenging relationships with her and I don’t practice any religion. I didn’t think I would keep it on, but I did, and derived much comfort from it as the months ticked by and I wasn’t feeling better. By the end of the eleventh month, as I contemplated removing it, I realized I was ready. My wrist felt naked that first month, but over time I got used to it. Now, the best of my mother lives on in my memory and I’ve buried the parts of her that drove me crazy (except when I’m having moments with my own daughters that would benefit from the perspective of my own mother-daughter drama). But on graduation days and other times, I wish she were here.
I sent you a note a few months ago to say that I had visited the University of Chicago Lab School and they have a nice framed photo of your mom in the entryway.
I’m sorry for your loss and for all of our losses. It is the inevitable, bittersweet part of making the passage from youth to mid-life and beyond.