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in Baby's 1st Years

Going Out to Eat With Kids

RestaurantWithKids2

I forgot to mention in my post on eating chicken feet that Leone, my 21-month-old, loved them.

When my oldest daughter, who is 12 now and a decided gourmet despite being a rather picky vegetarian these days (“Mom, I’m not drinking that goat milk anymore unless I go to the farm and see for myself that the goats are being treated kindly”) was 19-months-old she gobbled down escargot fried in garlic and butter.

Which brings me to my tips about eating out with small children:

Do be adventurous: Order something exciting! Try chicken feet! Little kids are naturally more adventurous eaters than grown-ups (that’s why they sample their own bodily fluids with so much gusto). You may not love the tripe soup but the meal will be more interesting to talk about later than if you ordered chicken noodle.

Do talk to the chef: Shu-Huei asked the manager which vegetables were freshest and he recommended the Chinese broccoli, which was crispy and sweet and delicious. Some of the best meals I’ve ever had came from asking the chef to make whatever he felt like, either on or off the menu. (Ah, those were the days when I could afford to eat out more than once or twice a year. Former-childless-much-skinner-wrinkle-free self: did you appreciate how good you had it?)

Do ask others what they’re eating: Always a good conversation starter and a great way to figure out what to order and what to avoid.

Don’t take a hungry kid to a restaurant and expect to be served right way: This rule goes for hungry moms and dads too. Best to have a healthy snack before you leave so you’re not besieged by low blood sugar when you arrive.

Don’t go out to eat at bedtime: Go fashionably early when there are fewer customers. It’s not worth having an evening out with the kids if they’re going to be super fusses or miserable the next day from staying up too late.

Do look for BBKs: This is one of our tricks for getting our kids to behave nicely at restaurants. We case the joint for BBKs-Badly Behaved Kids. The kids have fun looking for other kids who are whining or crying. And they stay on the best behavior.

A couple other thoughts:

We usually give our kids the option of a drink or dessert. It works best to tell them beforehand they can only have one or the other (or neither, if money is tight.)

I like my kids to say thank you, and to understand that going out to eat is a privilege.

I also want them to act and feel grateful and appreciative.

Unfortunately it doesn’t always work that way. You can’t really force appreciation on a 7-year-old. So, while you can remind your kids beforehand to say please and thank you to the server, and while you can also tell them how much you like it when they thank you to you when you do something special, you can’t really expect them to stop being kids just because you went out to eat. Know what I mean?

That said, role modeling helps.

If we want our kids to be polite and grateful to us, it helps to be polite and grateful to them.

“I love the way the three of you waited quietly until dinner came. And thank you for taking the baby to the bathroom when she needed to go pee. I can’t wait to have another opportunity to take you out to eat, since you were all so well behaved. Thank you.”

Do you take your kids out to eat often? What have I forgotten? What are your tricks for a successful restaurant evening with the wee ones?

Updated April 2018

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About Jennifer Margulis, Ph.D.

Jennifer Margulis, Ph.D., is an investigative journalist, book author, and Fulbright awardee. She is the author of Your Baby, Your Way: Taking Charge of Your Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Parenting Decisions for a Happier, Healthier Family, co-author (with Paul Thomas, M.D.) of The Vaccine-Friendly Plan, and co-author (also with Paul Thomas, M.D.) of The Addiction Spectrum: A Compassionate, Holistic Approach to Recovery. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. Watch her in the series, The Truth About Vaccines.

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5 Comments

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Comments

  1. YourPlusSizePregnancy says

    August 29, 2011 at 7:58 am

    Do not let them bring the kid’s food before yours! Some restaurants think they are helping when they do this, but then your kids are ready to leave and you haven’t had a bite yet! I always brought books and things to do while waiting. And allowed stacking of the sugar packets, etc as long as no mess was made. I actually wrote a picture/activity book about dining out that had activities in it, but could never sell it. I still believe in it and know it would be appreciated by many parents!

    Reply
  2. Shu-Huei Henrickson says

    August 29, 2011 at 9:09 am

    Leone also liked the rice and chicken in the lotus leaf dumplings. I don’t take GG out to eat that often, but when we do go out, it tends to be eating in abandon (deep-fried stuff). All the more reason not to go out to eat too often.

    Reply
  3. Erin says

    August 29, 2011 at 10:15 am

    Our kids love going to sushi! This is because they get to try different types of roles that come out over time and eat other fun things like edamame and miso soup. We love it because it’s less expensive than most restaurants, the food is healthy (aside from the tempura), and we all enjoy the meal in a comfortable atmosphere. We also find going to the same place over and over again helps because the owners know us and treat the kids like they are special guests at the restaurant which in turn helps our kids behave that much better!!! It’s win/win all around.

    Reply
  4. Heidi Jensen says

    August 29, 2011 at 12:01 pm

    If the restaurant allows it, we will sometimes call ahead and order. Then when we get there, the food is ready and we don’t have to wait. Otherwise, we will usually order, and then one of us will take our three year out for a walk while we are waiting for the food. And we just don’t take him to calm quiet restaurants because we know that is where he will decide that drumming on the table is all that will make him happy!!

    Reply
  5. Alexandra says

    August 31, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    Great advice here: “If we want our kids to be polite and grateful to us, it helps to be polite and grateful to them. ‘I love the way the three of you waited quietly until dinner came. And thank you for taking the baby to the bathroom when she needed to go pee. I can’t wait to have another opportunity to take you out to eat, since you were all so well behaved. Thank you.'”

    Reply

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