Your bald beauty needs a … wig. So people will know she’s a girl.
Because we need to stereotype babies as soon as possible. And it’s so embarrassing when your girl is mistaken for a boy.
Among the most useless baby products of 2013:
Inflatable plastic neck rings to keep your baby from drowning in the bathtub.
A potty chair with a video game tray so toddlers can have screen time while they go poo.
I wrote about some of these in an article for AlterNet: 7 Ways Companies are Getting Rich Selling Products Parents Don’t Need.
But it’s not just companies that cash in on America’s craze for spending money on useless items.
It’s also good old-fashioned moms and pops.
Among the most bizarre things for sale in 2013: positive pregnancy tests.
It’s hard to imagine why people would want to buy a piece of plastic that someone else urinated on, but they are hot sellers on Craig’s List.
Use them to:
The ones for sale in Philadelphia cost $20 in December 2013:
In Dallas, Texas they range in price from $15 to $40:
And in New York City, where everything’s more expensive, you can get one of these for just $29 plus $6 shipping:
The seller says it will make your boyfriend “pee his pants when you show him a positive pregnancy test lol.”
The ACLU has been taking on a lot of cases of pregnancy discrimination because so many pregnant women in America are discriminated against, “let go,” or even fired from their jobs:
Here’s the story: a pregnant woman is working, paying her bills, paying taxes, and taking care of her family. She’s in the workforce, contributing to the economy, and trying to carve out a little piece of the American dream by doing what everybody says you’re supposed to do: work hard, be productive.
For millions of pregnant working women, the job stays exactly the same. But that’s not true for everyone, especially if your job requires lifting heavy boxes, climbing ladders, or standing for 12 hours at the cash register. In situations like those, a pregnant worker may need a temporary and often minor job accommodation that would allow her to keep working.
When I say “temporary job accommodations,” I’m talking about a stool to sit on, permission to carry a bottle of water, or extra bathroom breaks. Sometimes this includes a light duty assignment, so a pregnant worker doesn’t have to lift heavy boxes when her doctor told her not to lift heavy boxes. Does any of this sound unreasonable to you?
But for too many pregnant women, what happens when they make these simple requests? They’re fired or forced to take unpaid leave.
So what happens? A pregnant worker is denied a paycheck and health insurance at a time when she needs it most and even though she wants to keep working and she cankeep working. She’s fired or pushed out even though she’s only asking for the same flexibility that her employer provides to workers who are disabled.
And sometimes, because she can’t afford to go without a paycheck, she stays on the job and puts her health and her pregnancy at risk. (Read the rest at the ACLU’s blog.)
Not to worry ladies: you can all start peeing on pregnancy tests, and selling them on the Internet.