If you’re my 74-year-old-beloved-relative-who-will-not-be-named-here-for-fear-of-offending-him, you shrug and say you don’t know, you’ll let your wife decide if you should be buried or cremated.
But there’s so many things to take care of when somebody dies.
There’s so much grief.
There’s so much longing.
There’s so much you wish you had said to your loved one.
There are so many nights when you lie awake for hours wishing you had a second chance … and knowing that you never will.
Your loved one is in a quieter, gentler place. But you, the bereaved, are stuck in a hurricane of sadness and self-doubt and regret and longing that goes on for months or years or maybe even decades.
So if you, while you’re alive and healthy and strong, make some simple preparations for death, those preparations will help the people you leave behind, who hate you for being gone, who love you fiercely and maybe feel they didn’t tell you so often enough, who let life’s petty anxieties get in the way of listening when you called them on the phone.
Who need to know if you want to be buried or cremated.
My mom wanted to be cremated. Cremation is easier and cheaper than being buried. She didn’t want hoop-la. The no-nonsense of cremation appealed to her, I think. She was all personality all the time. And it was always no-nonsense.
We chose an urn made out of pink Himalayan rock salt to put my mother’s ashes in.
My brothers and I agreed on it right away. Every rock salt urn is unique. It was natural but it had pizzazz, just like my mom.
We know she would’ve liked it.
Published: February 1, 2012
Last update: July 17, 2020